Having young children gives us a window to our
souls that only comes once in a lifetime.
Today was a really rough mama day, we were all tired from a very long week and it amplified some behavioral issues & patience issues (on my part) that could stand for some improvement. The kids are in bed now and it’s given me time to really think deeply about my/our parenting style and choices.
What is Discipline? This is what Webster says: control gained by enforcing obedience or order
ha ha! What a joke. How many books have been written on new and improved ways to discipline your child??
What if I don’t want to enforce obedience?
I have tried, seen and read about a thousand different ways to “perfectly” parent and have seen few things that really work on the heart of the child.
I could spank them, but that will only train them to do the things I disapprove of when I’m not looking. I can yell and scream and threaten, but they will lose their respect for me and I will only have “perfect” children on the surface because I have made them fear me…I will then only get to see who they really like when they break away and find their independence.
I could bribe them, but I know that won’t get me anywhere. I can shelter them and try to make sure they never see, hear or experience anything that isn’t as gentle and loving as I hope them to be, but the world is what it is and that will only last so long (unfortunately)
What it all comes down to for me, is their hearts and mine.
I had to stop and ask myself where are the issues stemming from.
If they are angry and they are being disrespectful, It’s a heart issue and there is no quick fix for the heart. I can force them to love, I can only show them by example.
I was going to retake this photo and thought “ha, that represents this today with an overtired three year old perfectly”
Kids are a mirror of us, if we look deep enough they will show us all the things in us that need a little work.
I don’t want to force my children to behave in order to please me, to impress other or make me look and feel like a “great” mom I want them to feel comfortable to be themselves so that I can help them and so that I can see and work on the ugly side of me that I see coming out in them.
To hell with discipline……let’s dig a little deeper than that.
It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~Joyce Maynard
My “magic in a bottle”
My hubby wanted a photo too:))